I just don’t know what to do with myself

Day 11. I forget how unscheduled we are without Phil. Even though he’s not terribly organized, our days revolve around him. On the days he has class, I have small windows of opportunity to do housework. When he works, I know I don’t have to plan anything special for supper, unless I’m really bored with eating leftovers and want to give Isabelle and myself a treat. I can’t say I miss finals week, though. Usually even when he’s in the house, he’s inaccessible because of needing to work on projects or papers.

The days without him are passing fast enough … sometimes too fast … with visits to friends and family, and opportunities like we had this morning to go to a moms’ Bible study at church. Still, I don’t know exactly what to do with the days. I don’t have the usual amount of errands, cooking, dishes and laundry to deal with, so I find myself looking for things to do. This morning, that meant spending money. Can’t afford to do that every day.

I’m a doer, so maybe this is a chance to learn to “be” more. With summer coming, and the probability that my husband won’t have any classes, just work, maybe this is an early adjustment for that transition.

As it is, I can’t believe we’re halfway through our separation. We always run out of time to visit those we love, and I can already sense the days slipping away. Better make the most of them while we have them.


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